I bloomin’ LOVE Networking!
But how can you make a positive lasting impression when the window for influencing someone for good is so tiny? (In the 1980s it was a 4 minute window… I’m pretty certain it’s a lot smaller now.)
We need to be thrifty… now there’s a nifty old-fashioned word!
Thrift ( noun) = the quality of using money and other resources carefully and not wastefully.
And get this from the roots…
Middle English (in the sense ‘prosperity, acquired wealth, success’): from Old Norse, from thrífa ‘grasp, get hold of’. Compare with thrive.
Well, I’d like prosperity, acquired wealth, and success via networking, wouldn’t you?
I’m tired of surviving… I’d like to thrive! Wouldn’t you like to join me?
Here’s a great way to start…
Yes! It’s another bloomin’ acronym!!
Of course, I like to tinker, so…
Trust needs to be earned, so invest early. What can you do to encourage people to trust you? Remember, that first impression is going to be more based on your tone, your dress-code, your body posture, your timing, your scent, your smile, your handshake, your ability to mirror, match, pace, and lead.
Your words (in a non-hostile situation) are the least important aspect. (In a hostile scenario, they will hang on every word trying to catch you out in what you say… so they can hang you and your words! That’s a different blog!)
What do you stand for?
Upstanding citizens have upstanding posture.
We use Dan Sullivan’s refreshingly old-fashioned recipe too:
Be on time
Say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You!’
Do what you say
Finish what you started… and trust me, as a Creative, this last one is a HUGE challenge!
People buy your energy.
Remember Ally McBeal? I tried to share the video with you but YouTube and Fox have blocked it. Let me share what happened – lend me your imagination for a spell… Ally was losing confidence in court. This frustration then leaks out at work and she throws her shoe across the office. Sod’s Law decrees that there’s only ONE person this shoe can hit: yes, the boss. He says, “Therapy!” and fortunately sends Ally to his own therapist, played by Tracey Ullman. Tracey, before she will allow Ally to get into the content of her frustration, says, “You need a theme song, Ally.” Ally resists but eventually chooses something sweet, but not something you can dance to. Tracey then pushes Ally until she chooses something upbeat – something she has to move her body to. The punchline, in the forbidden Ally McBeal clip, is that when she is moving unconsciously to the beat, other people begin to match her as she dances across the road in New York. This is a well know phenomenon called ‘Entrainment’. It’s magic –
I respect everyone, whether they ‘deserve’ it or not. Why? Because I don’t need you to earn my respect – it’s a given. Also, if you ever disrespect someone, you will pay somewhere down the timeline. Respect is given; trust is earned. Don’t confuse the two. Get their name right. Respect their time. Stop… interrupting them. Listen, learn, reflect back so that they KNOW you listened. Remember, “Yes, And…”
We’ve got to the point of maturity now where we know it’s not about us, haven’t we? Or do I need to cover that ground again? Nobody is really interested in you… well, if you do have someone who is genuinely interested, SHOUT “HALLELUJAH!” ‘cos you’re just struck Gold sister! You’ve just found the World’s Biggest Diamond, brother! So, just in case you haven’t, remember, it’s all about them. Listen, lean in, get in their shoes (Dawn Palmer I’m still waiting for a pair that fit me)… They’ll find you fascinating when you find them fascinating!
Yeah, it’s the same as humour… except you’re on Autopilot still, aren’t you? WAKE-UP! Be here consciously NOW and have FUN. Clock’s a tickin’!!! This ain’t the rehearsal.
I am a Conspiracy Theorist. I believe there is a concerted effort going to politically emasculate all of us from human contact. We’re not allowed to flirt. We’re not allowed to be saucy. We’re certainly not allowed to touch.Don’t touch me anywhere that will be misinterpreted, but do hug me. Do shake me by the hand, gently but firmly. If I want a dead-fish, I’ll put it on toast. Do put your arm around my shoulders (but no patting OK? Patting and petting are no-nos.) Fear is of the devil! When you love people, you gotta touch them… appropriately.
As a guide for those of us in the West (and even that is a challenge in multi-cultural circles) you are unsually OK with a brief touch of the other persons upper arm – above the elbow and below the shoulder. Caution is fine, but courage is to be applauded!
If they don’t like it, its like the answer to the question, “How do you know if someone’s a Vegan?” And the answer is, “Trust me, you’ll know!”
Release Your Inner Puppy
I saw a puppy on a crowded street in Wareham, yesterday. I was stuck in holiday traffic, so could watch his journey along the pavement flooded with opportunities to connect with people. He was up for it! He was full on!! He was restrained and controlled by a harness though around his back and legs. It was if his human companion felt the need to contain his enthusiasm. I know some people like that.
This puppy was FULL of joie de vivre – and he wasn’t jumping up at anyone. It was like he was saying,
“Hey, I’m new to this amazing planet! I’d love to connect with you! Let’s do this together!”
I’d have understood people’s behaviour if he was an ugly puppy, or if he was jumping up all over people, or if he was too big… but he was gorgeous, well-behaved, and just cute.
So, here’s the sad bit. Not a single person stopped to pet him. They were all too busy being on auto-pilot. If I wasn’t such a good citizen, I’d have abandoned my car and gone across to connect with his love that was being poured out enthusiastically. Perhaps I shouldn’t be such a good citizen… because people’s behaviour was uncivilised.
Folks, wake-up! Release your inner puppy! Turn of the auto-pilot! Even better, rip it out completely! The World needs ‘You’ – not the restrained, tamed, civilised you. ‘You’ with a Capital ‘Y’ – emboldened – underlined – the real you. The You that understands and applies THRIFT.
SHOW UP AND SHINE!
Our thanks to Lex McKee – The Boardroom Education & Accelerated Trainer